Critique Notes

I was reviewing a piece and its critique notes the other night and one critic said that they didn't like puzzle stories.  I am going to interpret that as "Jar of Tang" stories, where the author withholds information so they can have a revelation at the end.  I am also going to re-interpret that as stories where the reader gets to the end and says, "Huh?" as opposed to stories that start out a little confusing at first, but by the end the reader says, "Of course."

Looking at what I had written, the effect that I'm working toward -- partially through my choice of first-person narrator's voice -- is to see old things through a new filter in order to induce a sense of wonder.   I'll have to keep the balance between a Tang Story and a Wonder-Filter story in mind when I'm working on this piece.  I'll have to remember to try to step out of my head and make sure what I'm writing is clear to a reasonable reader.  (Yes, it's probably true that I am not a reasonable person.)   I edited out some of the more unnecessary decoration from some sentences in an effort to simplify them.

Another critique note was that the language in the piece was ponderous.  ... Hmmm... slow or clumsy because of great weight.   This one is harder for me to address, because I wanted the piece to have an elevated vocabulary.   Again, part of the solution is to simplify.  The other part is to look where there are exposition lumps and turn them into in-scene action.

Ah well, back to the editing board.