Adventures in Teen Mortification

What's Been Keeping Us Laughing for the Last Two Weeks

Scene: 5:30 pm.  A local McMenamins, we join our family seated in a booth, gazing at menus.

The Child: “I guess I’ll get an RC.”

Mark: “I think I’m going to order a Grapefruit Pom Nom Paloma.” (To John) “Are you going to order a drink?”

John: “I don’t know… (Thinking about how it’s early, but it’s still a school night, and he would have to figure out how to get home.) I don’t usually order booze when I’m here….”

Mark: “Why not? You could order a margarita.”

John (Holding up his index finger, swishing his shoulders, and launching into song): “Give me one mar-”

The Child (practically launching out of his seat and thrusting his palm across the table, a look of horror on his face tempered by the look of relief that we’re the only ones in this section of the restaurant): “STOP!”

(John and Mark trying and failing to keep straight faces and barely concealing their laughter.)

John: “Whoo! I didn’t even get past ‘margarita!’”

The Child: “What? That’s a weird song.”

Ruminations on The Path

Recently, I critiqued a manuscript that straddled the line between a blogging and memoir.  The manuscript's format and subject matter (showing, telling, praxis, faith, knowledge, and finding one's path) made me think about my own blog, and how lately it's gone from thinking about ideas and the examined life to "weather is here; wish you were fine" with Cat Pictures.

I blame some of the blog's straying on my Winter Writing Malaise.  Some of it is losing my focus.  Some of it is simply enjoying posting photos of our pets and the skies.  Some of my idea-lite posts come from only posting how many reps I did at the gym; which isn't a bad thing as far as accountability goes -- but I'd like the blog to be more than a mere gym ledger entry.

Coincidentally, I was having a discussion with The Child about What He Wants to Do With His Life. His current aspiration is to become a Rich and Famous Video Game You-Tuber (I think).  During the course of our discussion, he rattled off three names:  I didn't recognize one; one I know as a profane swearer; one I don't approve of because of his slurs.  On one hand, it's probably a good thing that the You-Tuber I refer to as "Yammerhead" wasn't on the list--but neither was the Kind and Curious Minecraft You-Tuber from about six years ago.

"So," I asked near the end of our discussion, "What is it that you're actually going to offer?"

"I'm going to post games reveal videos.  I'll probably put in some click-baity reaction-video stuff so I get five thousand likes -- that's when you start to make money as an affiliate."

"Yes, that's great" I said, "but what is your content going to be?  What will you have to offer that would make people want to watch your You-Tube channel?"

He gave me a look that anyone whose parents didn't understand that their garage band, or poetry, or painting was a one-way ticket to the big time gives to their out-of-it parents.

This whole entry is reminding me of The Hermit tarot card.  The Hermit, as a part of his journey, lifts his lamp up so that other travelers on the path can see where they might go.  I have to say, though, that I never thought of The Hermit as an Internet Influencer.

Writing vs Parenting

This morning was a little difficult writing wise.  I didn't force myself up until 5:15 and got a late start actually typing words into a manuscript.   Subsequently, I was sitting in the living-room writing and The Child woke up a little earlier than usual and  came right up to me about twenty-five minutes to seven, which pulled me out of the scene I was writing, and asked me if he could go get a fragile book to read.  I told him we could read it later and retreated to the Writing Closet (which is in The Child's bedroom).  I was both annoyed for getting pulled out of the scene, and felt like the Arty Neglectful Parent.   I did reassure him that we'd read the book, Macaulay's Motel of the Mysteries, later.

In terms of writing, I was writing what I realized I was writing a "Beautiful Woman Too Beautiful for Her Own Good" Story.  It's a story I started a few months ago and want to finis.   It's supposed to be a lightly humorous piece, but it's coming out sexist.  I thought about switching the genders of all the characters, but that wouldn't fix the "women can't help being vixens / women can't not give in to carnal desires" vibe.  I thought about making everyone gay--which seemed like a cop-out.  So, I'm clumsily writing dialog and keeping an eye on the "Talking Heads" meter.  Uh... 200 words and editing?

Work-out:  1.9Kcal on the bike.  Plus a slightly new routine with free weights; one of the trainers suggested switching from The Machines to free weights on the theory that one-size doesn't fit all.  I think she's right.  Also, I'm focusing on contracting my scapula when I do stuff so my shoulders don't drift forward and strain the stratus (or whatever it's called) muscle connecting my neck to my shoulders.

On the local wildlife front:  last Saturday, I watched a doe and her two fauns browse their way from the back neighbor's carport, around the corner of our yard, and walk between our and the west neighbor's houses.  They were looking into our windows.  I'd expect this sort of thing at my parents' much more rural house than our city house.