Polonius I.T. Moments

Scene:  Morning before work and Summer Camp Drop-Off.  John is brushing his teeth in the bathroom.  The Child enters.

TC:  "Hey, John, did you do something to my mobile device?"

J: (points to toothbrush in his mouth).

TC:  "Did you do something so I can't look at YouTube?"

J: (around toothbrush):  "Uh-huh."

TC:  "How did you do that?"

J: (Lets go of toothbrush long enough to make a mystic flourish in front of himself, goes back to brushing teeth.)

TC:  "I know it wasn't magic.  C'mon.  Whaddya do?  Did you configure my device?"

J (around toothbrush):  "Nuh-uh."  (finishes brushing, rinses out mouth)

TC:  "How?  Did you turn off the Internet?  It couldn't get to it on the computer, too."

J:  "Well, think.  (Channeling his inner Sir Bedivere before the witch-burning peasants.)  How does information from the Internet get into our house?"

TC:  "I don't know.  You're the I.T. Guy."

J:  "YouTube starts out on the Internet and the data . . . "

TC:  "You turned off the router?"

J:  "The router's like a gateway into our house.  I configured it to only allow YouTube after 6:30 PM."

TC:  "You used parental controls?"

J:  (Recalling the annoying user interface that wouldn't just give him tables to edit.)  "That's what they call it."

TC:  "Why did you do that?"

J:  "Well, Mark and I had several discussions where we asked you to limit the amount of time you spend on YouTube, and you didn't.  So I configured the router, no further discussion needed."  (Secretly wishing for a Ming the Merciless outfit so he can follow up with a long round of "Mwha-ha-ha-ha-haaah!")

TC:  "..."