Thursday, February 06, 2014

Fallen Pagan Notes

I can feel that I'm battling a cold.  All I want to do is sleep, and yesterday evening, I got chilled.  Granted, I think the heat had turned off where I was, but still.  Wearing a bunch of layers and having a cup of soup helped.

Mid-Winter (Groundhog Day) has come and gone and I haven't done much for it.  I should be thinking of letting frozen, unneeded forms go, and discovering new fluid ways of being.  I should be focusing on the queer divine healer guided by visions in water and ice.  I should be pausing between maintenance and new beginnings.  I should be sitting in naked meditation with my queer brothers, or dancing with blue or green veils around a silver scrying bowl filled with water and dry ice.  

OK, the meditation doesn't have to be naked.  I've done naked ritual and I know some people find it freeing, but I just find it distracting (and cold!) on a number of fronts.  And I am already imaging my queer brothers wanting to bring in Winktes, or to hold a group therapy session heart circle, or hold a pot-luck (with Deadly Peppers), or checking their cell phones because they're waiting for the ride to the next event to contact them, which would just make me cross.  Sigh.

In my fantasies...

We would walk into a large clearing with a big bonfire.  I'm not sure exactly who "we" would be other than we would be there to touch the numinous clothed in the natural world, to touch the numinous in each other and our selves, and to hallow the moon and sun at mid-winter.

There would be a canopy held up on poles in case it rained.  Ritual guardians would remind us to stow our watches and mobile devices.  More guardians would challenge us to walk the path between the Pillars of Severity and Mercy.  We would thank the trees for holding us safe.  And drummers would drum fast and precise in diverse rhythms so that we could dance in something other than 4/4 time.  And the moon would rise, and we would all turn to it and raise our hands and voices.  And we would dance a snake dance with a golden ball for the sun.  And if the rains fell, the bonfire would would make the water steam off of our clothing.   And we would weave between altars at the cardinal points.  

At the end of the ritual, we would take turns ladling hot cider out of a cauldron for each other, pausing to look into the cauldron or the rising smoke and steam for portents.   We might or might not share our visions afterward, after walking back through the guardians, after taking back our time pieces and mobile devices, after returning to the normal waking world.
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