That Certain Air of Savoir-faire

I've made a discovery. I think our back yard has a je ne sais quoi that is really beginning to bug me. I hadn't realized it until I was talking with a friend and a list of reasons of why I don't like to be in the backyard tripped over my tongue:

• Patio is too sunny in the Summer
• Patio is too dark (and wet) in the Winter
• I have to constantly tell Arthur not to
  • play with the hose
  • go into the tool shed
  • whack the shrubbery
  • molest garden decorations
• There's no comfortable place to sit
• There's too much white-trash-detrius and plastic-baby-crap
• I have to traipse through the garage to get tea and snacks
• The ground is fairly uneven
• I keep finding damn clothespins everywhere
• The neighbors' conversations are audible
• There's no outside electrical outlets
• And I still miss my gazing globe

I think some of this could be fixed with

• a fountain
• some comfortable storage benches
• a covered sandbox
• a raised, childproof, tea bar
• a series of two foot tall bevelled concrete obelisks

So I started to fix the easy stuff: the patio is surrounded on two sides by a cinderblock wall; last year I created some steps onto the back lawn that made sense at the time, but which cluttered the space. I removed them, and in the process raised up the wall by a course -- it's at a comfortable level for sitting now. I think what I secretly want to do is convert the back patio to a greenhouse / conservatory, but Mark points out why that's wildly impracticle right now. Sigh.

I guess I'll have to figure out where to put a fountain next. And some WiFi.