The John Look ?

Right Now... ... I've got a problem. The Writers of the Future workshop is in about a month and my hair looks like something Peter Brady wore in the late seventies. So do I A) Cut my hair; B) Trim back my beard; C) Let my beard get fuller; or D) Something else? [EDITOR'S Note:  There was a poll where folks could vote, but that was seven years ago...]

The Deiter Look I could shave everything back to 1/8th of an inch and give myself a "King Phillip of France II" / Timothy Dalton beard. PROS: very low maintenance. CONS: Mark says it's too bristly.

Stay the Course Unfortunately, I probably won't look like this in a month. Depending on where my hair is on its wave, I'll have another set of "hair wings" or else it will hang down in a mostly behaved fashion. PROS: No drastic encounters with shears. CONS: Mark will complain about long John hairs on the floor.

Patriot & Brewer Um... No.

Ride the Savage Wave Well, OK; I won't look like this in a month, either; more like a year. But this is what the beard looks like when it's fuller. PROS: Fabio hair when the wind blows the right direction. CONS: Mark makes "horse hair" comments.

Hippie Dentist If I start now, I'll have the beard in time for the workshop. I'm guessing my hair's about an inch long in this photo. PROS: Venerable, yet approachable. CONS: Mark will complain the beard pokes him too much.

Winter Frosting As you can see, I am a winter. I think this is Lesbian Haircut #2. As an honorary lesbian, it's OK for me to wear. PROS: Good for fundraising events. CONS: Mark will be more likely to sing "Kumbaya" at the drop of a hat.

Mystic Sage I might be able to pull this off in a month, but I'll only have a two inch ponytail in the back. When I pull my hair back now, the white streak is still mostly there; although in a year or two it will be a brown streak. PROS: With the full beard (and the right robe) I could probably pass as Obi-Wan Kenobi. CONS: Mark will complain about finding hair scrunchies all over the place. OK, and ponytails give me headaches.

Rapunzel This is me, moments before I buzzed my hair back to almost nothing (Arthur was pulling it and it kept falling into... well... I won't go into that). It will probably take me two years to get it this length again, but it gives you an idea of what really long hair and a really short beard look like together. PROS: I am the envy of everyone who wants long hair. CONS: Mark points out that stray strands of hair become Velcroed to my beard .