Friday, April 29, 2016

Ten-year-old Foreign Policy

Scene: The Kitchen.  John is preparing onions, sweet potatoes and other fillings for taco dinner.

The Child (enters with a sheet of paper in hand):  "John!  John!  I've got an idea about how we can end terrorist attacks."

John:  (Stepping over to the dining nook table.):  "OK...."  (thinking in the back of his head this is the kid who likes the Sith because 'they get things done.')

The Child:  "I heard there were these bombings in this city in Spain.  So, I made this map showing where the bombings were."  Places map on the table.

John:  "So what's your plan?"

The Child:  "We'll [redacted]"

John:  "!!  What?!  Bud!  No!  That's like Rambo destroying the Emerald City in order to save it.  You don't do [that]."

The Child:  "If that's where the terrorists live, we'll get them."

John:  (calming himself by bringing his hands together like Steve Jobs presenting a gizmo and taking a deep breath):  "Going out with force like that is a George W move.  It only destabilizes the region.  We've had this discussion before."

The Child:  "How do we stop terrorists, then?" (thinking 'The Sith would know how to deal with terrorists').

John:  "To deal with terrorism, you have to deal with the roots of terrorism."

The Child:  "You get all the old people?"

John:  "No!  You're being obtuse!  I've told you this before; you take away the reasons people become radicalized; you send aid; you educate people, especially the girls and women; you have a kind of Marshall plan for the area."

Mark (coming home from work):  "Hi, everyone."

The Child:  "Mark!  Mark!  I've made a plan for dealing with terrorism.  See!"  (shows plan).

Mark (brightly):  "Oh, that's good, you made a plan."

John:  "Just. Make. Dinner.  Just. Make. Dinner."
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