Friday, March 12, 2010

Left Turn Rant

I don't know what it is about Eugene motorists and left turns. It seems every time I'm crossing the street (at a crosswalk with a light), there is someone turning left on an apparent trajectory to run me over.

There's nothing quite so stimulating to the fight-or-flight response as the headlights of an oncoming car.

Afterward, the driver gives me a friendly wave and mouths a "Hi." This does nothing to temper my autonomic desire to vaporize his car with photon torpedoes. A lot of photon torpedoes. I can only imagine what's going through these peoples' heads: "Oh, I know you thought I was about to plow into you with five tons of metal, but, see, it was joke; I didn't really mean it. So, um, Hi!"

It's enough to make me want to walk around with photocopies of pages from the Oregon Driver's Manual covering the laws yielding to pedestrians. I think I'd slap it onto the side of their car as they coast by.

Sigh. I suppose there's other laws about using an electromagnetic pulse gun to fry the chips in their car's engine. ("Oh, I made your car stop advancing on me while I was in a crosswalk. Nothing personal. Hi.")
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