Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Toxic Writing Fears

On the writing front... I had a morale-building discussion the other night. The down side of writing (for me, anyway) takes several toxic forms. Sometimes I feel like a fake (which apparently happens to writers who win Hugo and Nebula awards). Sometimes I feel like I'll be really really lucky if I get a footnote in the Annals of the Earth (my footnote will be on the Wordos' page and will be something along the lines of "the gay one"). Sometimes I feel really old (I won't think too hard about age when I'm speaking with 22 year old writers). Sometimes the Money Daemon sits on my shoulder while I'm writing and asks pointed questions about Jobs and Hobbies (hello, last I checked the National Endowment for the Arts received less money than a lot of folks). And probably the most toxic of all, sometimes I feel like the stories I write are a schizophrenic's self-referential ravings (it was pointed out to me that the latest offerings weren't quite so confusing to the table as I thought).

The discussion wasn't so much a "here's what to do" one so much as a "here's my fears as a writer, too" one. It was cathartic, but also good to hear some of the unhelpful things I tell myself coming out of someone else's mouth about their own process.

Back to writing!
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